01.26.15

large

I’ve known him for four months now. We’re in the same class and we became friends. Everything was great: his best friend was one of my best friends, we hung out everyday.

One day when we were at the library with my friend, he joined us. It was the first time my friend and him met. When he left, she told me that he had a crush on me. I laughed. He’s too good of a friend.

A few weeks later, he started to leave a few hints: he’d say that I was the best or that I liked it when he was being romantic. I played with him. I teased him, knowing that nothing would happen as I didn’t think anyone could ever like me.

I’ve never had a boyfriend or let alone kissed anyone. I’ve had a lot of crushes, but dating was scaring me. I’m 17.

Yesterday we spent the day at my apartment to work together. After we studied for less than fifteen minutes, he asked me if we could watch a movie. I said yes. I sat on the sofa with a blanket, he was next to me. Every five minutes or so, he got closer to me. I didn’t understand what was happening. After the movie ended, he put the blanket over our heads, put on a calm song and we talked under the blanket for 20 minutes. The conversation was getting deeper. He asked me about my family, when we usually only talk about school. I checked the time. He was supposed to leave 30 minutes ago. I told him. He said that he’d rather spend time with than do what he had to do. I said I had to leave. On my way to meet my family, I couldn’t stop smiling.

I texted my best friend. « Something weird happened. » I can’t date him. I don’t mind kissing him, because the whole « first kiss » deal would be behind me. But everybody at school would know. They can’t know. But I’m not brave enough to tell him no, before, or after the kiss. I don’t want to be with him. But hopefully I just imagined this.

During my economy class today, he was behind me talking to our best friend in common. I could hear everything they were saying. « But which movies did you watch? », « Why didn’t you kiss her? » « Don’t worry, it’ll happen by itself » « You’ll see, after two weeks of dating, the sex will come naturally. »

I froze. My palms were getting wet. My heart was pounding in my chest. I was thinking so fast. I wasn’t thinking at all. I was shaking. I felt disgusted. I was an object. I felt betrayed by my friend. Did he know about this? WHY WERE THEY TALKING ABOUT THIS WHEN THEY KNEW I WASN’T FAR AWAY.

Advertisements

My trip to California

Hello! In the middle of August I left France to fly all the way to California for a 20 days trip with my father. brceq-poster_carte_du_monde_vintage_cavallini_Souvenirs_de_lyon_pentes_de_la_croix_rousse   We landed in Los Angeles at night and drove to the house our friends lent us, which was more than great! DSC_0069   We stayed four days in LA, here are a few pictures. DSC_0072   DSC_0092

DSC_0142

DSC_0113

DSC_0047

DSC_0051

DSC_0056

We then drove to Sequoias National Park and it was absolutely stunning, the trees were huge and we spent the day hiking.

DSC_0167

DSC_0186

DSC_0158

After that we continued driving to the north and got to Big Sur.

DSC_0212

DSC_0197

DSC_0224

This was our last stop before San Francisco which was great even though I didn’t really got to enjoy it as I was sick and the weather was really bad during our stay.

DSC_0244

DSC_0249

After spending two days in SF we took a plane to Las Vegas! Unfortunately none of the pics I took turned out good as I left the flash on my camera. Silly me.. But I enjoyed Vegas wayyyy more than what I would have expected: my father had booked us a suite at the Bellagio and we spent the night outside, ate a lot and had fun watching the over 21s getting drunk!

After our night in Vegas we drove to Zion, Arches and Bryce Canyon’s national parks. And..wow! My dad had been warning me for weeks about the heat and luckily he was wrong, it was the perfect weather for us to walk around and enjoy the breath-taking landscapes.

DSC_0475

DSC_0447

DSC_0434

DSC_0413

DSC_0390

DSC_0380

DSC_0491

After spending another night in Vegas but at the Wynn Encore this time, we hit the road again to go to Palm Springs which we didn’t really visit because our hotel was too great no to enjoy all day.

As the end of our trip was coming we went back to the sea, in San Diego and then to Los Angeles where I was more than happy to shop, eat at Lemonade everyday and swim in the biggest waves I had ever seen in my life!

DSC_0534

IMG_1240

DSC_0561

IMG_1232

I hope you enjoyed this pictures and don’t hesitate to ask me anything!

Héloise xx

I hoAfetWe