01.31.15

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Saturday night. I drank. Too much. I was falling asleep on the sofa, when someone took me by the hand.

The next thing I remember is being in a closet, in the dark, kissing him. He told me he liked me from the day he met me. He asked me if I wanted to go out with him and I answered « I don’t know ». He told me I was pretty. We kissed. Again. And again. « My hair is in your mouth. » I told him « Your hair is gorgeous. » What was happening? I didn’t realize anything. Our best friend whom birthday we were celebrating was screaming, I told him « IT’S HIS BIRTHDAY WE SHOULD CELEBRATE » but after kissing me again he told me that this was the best present we could ever make to our friend. I asked him if we could go to the movies « whatever you want »,  he whispered.

We kissed again. He kept asking me if I wanted to go out with him, and I kept answering « I don’t know ». We kissed. He told me that he had been wanting to kiss me for a long time. I hugged him. We kissed. I threw up. Twice.

Next thing I know, I was in a bathroom being cleaned up by two of my friends. « YOU LEFT THE BOAT!! » one of them screamed. I had left the « never been kissed before » boat. They were so happy for me and told me that everyone had been waiting for this moment to arrive. I felt so sick. They told me that him and I had spent an hour in that closet. My pants were covered in vomit.

Lila took me upstairs, joggers were given to me, they laid me in a bed and made me drink some water. I was left alone in that room but I couldn’t sleep. I called my best friend for half an hour. What had just happened?? Some girl from my school came in the bed with me. « I don’t want it to be Monday » I whispered. She replied « don’t worry, if you don’t want to date him, you’re not forced to. » It made me feel better. She left for the bathroom because she had to puke. I texted him asking if he could come to the room. He didn’t answer. I fell asleep.

It was 4 AM when I woke up, I went downstairs, ready to party again. But here he was.. He hugged me and asked if I was doing okay, I quickly said yes.. Our best friend who was hosting the party came to me laughing and danced with me. I can’t remember if I was happy or not.

Lila and I then decided to leave the party, and while waiting for our taxi to arrive, the random girl from my school came to me and told me that she had spoken to him, and that he really didn’t care about me, that he just kissed me because he was drunk. I was so happy Camille told me that, things weren’t going to be weird after all!

As we were about to go to bed, I got a text from him. « Are you feeling better? ♡ » He usually never uses hearts in his texts.

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